The Buck Stops Here!

204.8 lbs.  THAT'S IT!  No further.  I refuse.

For those of you that don't know, I was Karen's Matron of Honor at her wedding in Jacksonville, FL this past weekend.  Now, I haven't seen Karen for over a year because we moved from Lancaster, SC to Orlando.  She ordered my dress in a size 22.  A TWENTY-FRICKEN-TWO.  Just two years ago, I was a size 11.  Well, I thought for sure that the dress would be too big and we would have to find a seamstress to take it in once I got to Jacksonville.  But noooooooooooooooooooooooooo.  I tried the dress on when I got there and guess what.  IT FIT. Like a glove.  That was it.  I was done.  Or so I thought.  We went out that night and we consumed TWO bottles of wine at a very nice Italian restaurant.  I ate a HUGE plate of ziti florentine and went back to the hotel to top it all off with some rum and coke.  yuck. yuck yuck yuck.  That's how I felt.
Like a champ...I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face - did my duties - and put on the size 22 dress and walked on the beach to give my girlfriend away.  As all of the cameras were snapping pictures - I wanted to die.  I wanted to dig a hole in the sand and bury myself. (at least my makeup and hair looked good and that's what kept me going thru the evening)
At the reception, I snuck over to one of the cameras and reflected on the pictures she had taken.  There it was.  PROOF.  Proof that I needed to do something about my weight.  I have never felt so embarrassed about taking a picture in all of my life.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I am camera whore.  Not anymore.
While everything I'm saying sounds like I am being hard on myself...I am.  I have to be.  I have to make a change.  I'm taking off the rose colored glasses and doing something about it.  I'm not going to sugar coat my story and I'm going to be brutally honest.  At every expense.
This afternoon, I took the first step and signed up at WeightWatchers.com - a lot of people that I know said, this program really works.  It works with out having to use magic pills and pre packaged food.  It's going to take hard work and determination.  And trust me when I tell you - I'm determined.
I know I will never be a size 6 again and to be honest, I don't want to be.  I don't want high blood pressure.  I don't want anti-depressants.  I want my confidence back.  ...it's going to take more than magic ^-^
Oh yeah, I also took the second step.  I put on my Nike's, my shorts and tee shirt and walked down to the apartment complex's gym.  I put on my ear phones - turned on American Pickers and jumped on the treadmill.  I did my first 30 minute cycle with the last two minutes in a running mode :)  I kept telling myself that I could do it.  And I did.  I did it.  I survived and I felt good.